Twelve hours in a van. 12 has stops. It may have been longer. We were supposed to take a train to Kanchanabri but there had been some sort of dangerous incident recently. Instead we took an overnight van ride. I actually did sleep most the way. We only had 5 people per van so it wasn't horrible with spacing. The worst part was two hours in when we stopped for gas and our drivers woke me up to make me get out. I kept saying no but they made me. I probably misunderstood but I'm not a happy person when you wake me up. We arrived at our next spot about 11:30 the next day and other than a few spurts, I slept most of the way.

My body was obviously completely confused because immediately upon walking onto the restaurant porch my migraine aura started. Luckily Josh grabbed my injection quickly and I was able to catch it early enough that it didn't ruin the whole day. We only had gotten three rooms so far. I'm sure the group thought I was nuts when I just crashed on the first bed I saw. They ended up giving me that room after all.

After a nap I thought my body needed some food balance. I hadn't seen where we were at all. While I was sleeping I thought I was imagining swaying. When I got up I realized our room was on a floating dock. Bobby best described it. Kind of like floating trailers. It sounds yucky but thy are pretty cool. Great breezes and tons of wildlife sounds. Über peaceful.

The restaurant is up the hill a tad and has a porch looking out over the water. The space closest to the water is filled with low tables and mats to lounge on. All the food is made here by the staff. It's good homecooked food. I told the staff my stomach hurt so they me a rice and broth soup not on the menu. A little salty and exactly what I needed. That's why I love places like this.

Normally the group doesn't arrive until 5 so we had the rest of the day to ourselves. Josh wanted a massage so we ventured up the road towards town. It is nothing like the past places we came from. Other than a handful of people our group were the only tourists I saw. There were several little inns along the river like ours. My guess is that everyone staying around here is doing so for the excursions like us.

The heat was pretty intense. It probably wasn't the smartest idea for me to be walking in it with my fever. We saw some interesting stuff. A roadside bar to get drunk for 10 baht (30 cents), a dreadlock repair man, a pretty rad rice shop and a used bookstore with the new book on my list - selling for new price, smart business woman.

There were massage parlors everywhere. How would we decide. Rap rap rap! Linda and Brie were sitting right inside the massage studio we were walking by and saw us. They knew we had been wanting to do one so they grabbed us. Linda has been having at least one massage a day so if she says it is a good place I will take her word for it.

After a wee bit of confusion over what we wanted they led us to the back room here four mattresses, the thickness of cheap cribs, were on the floor in a row. They put a waterproof cover over each one and then a sheet and then ordered we undress. I explained I only wanted my upper body and kept my shorts on. Josh did the same and hen they drew some curtains back in front me so no one could see us. It was surprisingly cool and breezy back there.

I'm not a massage expert but I've had quite a few. These ladies were the strongest masseuses I've ever experienced. They spoke no English so josh and I had to get creative with how to tell them when it hurt. (We looked it up with Bobby later). They climbed all over us. Dug their elbows into us. The best part was the head massage part. I may be sore but there can't possibly be any of that migraine tension left. $7. That's how much our best ever, albeit strong and terrifying, cost us. Next we are trying a foot massage.

We came back to the hotel relaxed and vegged out on the porch. This seemed to be what everyone did. We ate early. Watched an amazing sunset right over the river (the trees make it look like Africa to me) and just socialized. Everyone was exhausted and we called it a super early night. Tomorrow is elephants and tigers!

The morning seemed to start out well. We were all to meet for breakfast at 8:30. Josh and I had apparently gone home a lot earlier than some and there were questions about who would make it up for breakfast. Eventually, everyone was accounted for except Lucas. He had apparently never made it home last night. People had expected to find him asleep in front of the hotel or on th beach. No signs. Seemed strange but no one was overly worried. He is a big guy and had left the bar last night to go see the moy tai fights in Patong. He probably got a cheap room there.

There are surprisingly few restaurants open for breakfast at this time. We went down the street a but and found a place that was open and had pictures of eggs. This should work. We had just ordered when Michael joined us and started talking quietly to Bobby. Bobby swiftly excused himself and we were all left looking at Michael. The hotel had just told him Lucas was in the hospital.

The mood turned somber. Some girls started crying. Some people started guessing what had happened. I figured it couldn't have been too horrible if he was coherent enough to tell them where he was staying and with whom. I'm pretty sure that sober and uninsured Josh couldn't have done that. Turns out he was on his way home and was the passenger on a scooter. He thankfully had a helmet on but there was a crash. He doesn't remember what happened but he came to on the side of h road and then later in the hospital. He was quite lucky with a black eye and scrapes.

So that's a depressing start to the day! We at least know he's okay now. Our group gatherers and beads over to the Phuket Cobra Show. I'm not thrilled about being anywhere near these things. Before the show we get to take a snake farm tour. See some pregnant boa constrictors and lord know what other kinds. I just want to get through this as quickly as possible.

I somehow ended up in the back of the group and by the time I turned the corner to the show stands the whole group was seated on the front row. Everyone except Josh that is. I joined him up higher. I figured if the King Cobra got out of the ring it would attack all the people down low first. The music soon started thumping and the Announcer welcomed us. Lots of jokes about ladyboys and missing fingers were made. I'm not entirely sure what wasa joke and what wasn't.

For Round 1, Jim (who was missing a finger and I'm pretty sure was drunk) risked his life and I'm sure mine by taunting three cobras. Although it felt rather constrained, I was still scared out of my mind. For some reason Josh decided to get up and walk over by the open cages to take pictures from the bak of the ring. That is a horrible idea for someone who can't understand broken English spoken with a Thai accent. I finally told him to sit is butt back down and stop moving. The memory that will stick in my head is when the handler brought one of the snakes around for people to see the fangs up close. Josh and Josh scurried up those bleachers so fast you would think there was a fire. I wish I had taped it.

Round 2 was three mangrove snakes. Much smaller but quicker. This was the round where audience participation was welcomed. What? Of course only people from our group were crazy enough to partake in this. Luckily we didn't have any more trips to the hospital that day.

Round 3 was a king cobra. They are the largest venomous snake at up to 18 feet. My stomach was completely ready to hurl by this point. I made it through the final round and was happy to return to the van. I'm not sure I'd say I enjoyed it but I survived.

Now that I was hungry, kidding, we headed back to Elephant for lunch. We had some creative service where half of the drinks came after the first half of our table had already eaten. Of course I got the late drinks. I continued my creative ordering with a noodle soup. Super yummy.

After lunch we caught a van down to Patong Beach where we were catching our long tails. It was amazing how less crazy that beach street was when the cruise ship was gone. The tourist folks were still there but they weren't jumping on us like before. We boarded two long tails and headed out to Freedom Beach, an island about 20 minutes out.

Hank had been talking up this mad volleyball playing all trip so we had to stop and get a rock hard ball on the way to Patong. Just in case. The beach was beautiful. Perfect sand. Tall palm trees and tons of umbrellas in the shade. Apparently this was the first year you had to pay $3 (or $4 depending on the minute you asked) for chairs. Oh well. I was petrified to get in the water be ause I saw several little jellyfish on the beach. Instead we explored the black boulders along the shore and climbed the stairs up the side of the hill to get a view of the beach from up top. Finally, my extreme heat exhaustion gave way to my fear and we got. It was pure peace. The rest of the afternoon was spent with me under an umbrella and josh on a volleyball court.

Somehow Bobby, like always, managed to work it out so that we were the very last two boats to leave the island. We watched a spectacular sunset and were very entertained by the couple doing their own x-rated photo shoot. If only they knew who we all were. I don't think our boats were supposed to wait so late to come in to get us. The surf was pretty high and I was convinced a few times the boat would tumble. Half our group had to change boats out in the water, with camera gear, because one captain went home early. There were huge swells in our little rickety wooden boat but we did make it back. The lady in charge yelled at Bobby for our late return for a while but changed her tune when she realized what happened.

Dinner in Patong was the least appetizing and most expensive. Pizza and $8 Haagen Daaz. I was craving it so I didn't care. At 8:30 we were all wiped out and headed back to the hotel to shower, pack and load the vans. After a few people managed to convince the hotel to sell them pillows, we were on the road in three vans for an overnight 12 hour ride. Yep. You read that right. Thank goodness I brought that camping pillow and Ambien.

Today's beach day can only be described as ultimate. I'm thankful that we have visited some of the most beautiful beaches in the world in Hawaii, Greece and other places, so that we could fully appreciate this.

It was an early morning. We had to meet our cams at 6am. That sounds early until you realize most of us were still waking up at 3:30 in the morning. At 5:45 in the morning the options were breakfast are limited. After some debate at the 7-11 with Brett about the authenticity of the orange juice I grabbed a bottle. I couldn't bring myself to try any of the pastries. My later findings were that the liquid substance was Tang with a pulp mixture added. I'm not sure how I feel about that.

The short van ride deposited us at an elegant resort marina. A Robin Leach doppelgänger and his business partner showed us to our charter boat. The crew of three local Thai men were honestly the most professional crew we have ever had. No messing around, no gimmicks, no making me throw up. I was highly impressed with our charter. Good job Bobby. I spent the ride out to the islands talking to Bobby and just enjoying being on the water. About 45 minutes in I noticed everyone started to stand up with their cameras so I took note.

The Phi Phi Islands are one of those places you see on tv or in photos and just can't believe it's real. It is. And it's spectacular in person. I'll have to add all the island names later but I love how the day was planned out. We had just enough time everywhere but you never got bored.

The first island must be the busiest. It is the one I always see pictured. We arrived by 7:30 and it was already getting busy. The beach is flanked by these massive green cliffs and black rock overhangs. We explored the beach for a bit and then hiked into the island where there were some paths leading through to the other side. You could climb up some old rickety stairs and get a view through to where we would snorkel next. Once we made our way back down we found our group mulling around and then started to make our way back to the boat. Fishie time!

For Christmas, Josh surprised me with snorkel masks and snorkels. We keep going to these amazing spots around the world and he thought it was time to invest. Wow. What a difference that makes. There weren't a huge variety of fish but boy were there a lot. Bobby kept throwing bread at me so that the fish were literally swimming on me. It was crazy. There was apparently a bright blue starfish but I missed it.

We then headed to another cove to snorkel but there didn't seem to be any fish. I enjoyed the view from the boat and finally picked up the camera. This is a photography trip! After a lot of tries the first picture below (with a but of Josh editing) is my result. It was pretty cool back there with all the long tail boats.

Next stop Phi Phi Don Island . I think that is the name. If you have seen the videos from the tsunami you were probably watching video from here. That in itself was intense. This island has a narrow path down the beach barely wide enough for the carts to get through pulling guests luggage to their beachside hotels. Restaurants and tourist shops line both sides. After checking out a few spots (sometimes finding seating for 15 can be tough) we settled on the very Thai Italiano Restaurant. We had a swank setup with couches under some fans. Only in Thailand. Love it. I gave in and finally got a fruit shake and Khao Pad. I'm all about eating local here. No spices please. Josh loved his Pad Thai and his mojito that appeared to have an entire mint garden in it. Good lunch.

Now full, we reboarded. On the way out we pulled by an island with monkeys all over the beach. Apparently we will have monkeys galore in Cambodia so we just quickly looked.

The last stop was a beach that appeared to be just for day trippers. The bottom of the water was covered in coral so it made it difficult to stand, but the beach around the island had some cool rocks and tide pools. We spent a bit of time relaxing before getting on the boat one last time and heading back,

After cleaning up, our group headed out for dinner. We ended up next to a fish foot station. These are the grossest thing I've seen. Tanks of tiny fish, on the street, where people let fish eat the dead skin off their feet. Yuck. How appetizing next to a restaurant? Dinner was pretty typical. I was adventurous and ordered a Signapore Sling even though the waiter couldn't tell me what it was. It came in a glass with boobs on it and only one took me a bit askew.

Some of our group had Ben raving about mitosis they had early so most of our group moved on to search for that place. After walking almost to Bangkok we found it. Not what I would have pictured as the Home of Thailand's best mojito but ok. These mojitos must have taken a good 45 minutes to make. No amount of deliciousness was going to save Josh from quickly falling into a state of slumber. When the drinks came, we downed ours, paid up and headed back. We passed the bar truck which might be one of the coolet things we've seen. A VW bus turned into a bar and dj booth outside of a bar. We avoided buying any laser pointers or barking dog toys and called it a night. Little did we know what was going to happen.